Great Balls of Fire!

"Great balls of fire" is a classic English-language American idiom (an expression of speech) expressing excitement or astonishment, similar to exclamations like "oh my goodness" or "holy cow."  The phrase is famously known as the title of Jerry Lee Lewis's 1957 iconic rock 'n' roll hit, since performed by many other entertainers including hit versions by Conway Twitty in 1961, Dolly Parton in 1979, Amii Stewart in 1981, and The Flying Lizards in 1984.  To this day, the song remains a staple at many Las Vegas and other music venues offering crowd-pleasing golden oldies.  For this post, I reference the phrase in the obvious, and delightfully manly, anatomical context.      

Testicles, commonly called balls in the vernacular, are an extremely important part of our cherished male anatomy.  The word "testicle" stems from the Latin word testis, meaning "witness."  The word is metaphorical in origin as, in ancient times, a man's testicles were seen to confirm his male virility and honor.  Some historians claim that Roman men placed their hands on their testicles when swearing an oath, hence the words testimony, testify, and attest.  Surveys and discussions by psychologists show that it is natural for many adult men to subconsciously sleep with a hand placed over their testicles to self-sooth and instinctively protect these vital organs during the vulnerable unconscious state of sleep. Even throughout the day, many guys subconsciously give themselves a "ball check."  I find myself doing this, both day and night.

There are many playful or slang terms for testicles besides the most commonly used "balls."  To name a few readily coming to mind -- nuts, nads (short for gonads), the family jewels, the boys, knackers, goolies, marbles, bollocks (British English, sometimes spelled ballocks, and also sometimes used as an expletive, similar to saying "Fuck!), and cojones (one of my favorites, Spanish, meaning eggs, frequently used in American English as a "borrowed" word from Spanish, like other common words borrowed from foreign languages, such as rendezvous, doppelganger, karaoke, or graffiti).  There are also many common idioms referring to men's balls: To have someone by the balls (meaning to have complete control over a person or situation, in a position of ultimate leverage), Balls to the wall (meaning to operate at maximum effort, speed, or intensity), Bust or break someone's balls (meaning to harass or pressure someone relentlessly), Grow a pair (of balls, implied, meaning to urge a man to be brave, confident, or assertive), It takes balls (meaning to require a high level of bravery or audacity) and Balls up (referring to a situation that has been completely messed up or ruined). 

Men differ significantly in respect to the tactile sensitivity of their testicles.  In sexual play, some men are so sensitive to their balls being touched that they find it uncomfortable and perhaps even painful. Other men very much enjoy ball play, with the right amount of fondling, licking, and sucking being very much on the menu. Speaking for myself, my balls are tough cowboys, and they like a lot of attention.  As a very young man, in my first sexual relationship with another man, he was exactly like me, and later in life, when I began to have sex with other men, I quickly learned that guys are not all the same regarding just how much you can mess around with their balls. 

There is notable variation in the size of testicles among men, although the variation in testicle size is not as wide as the variation in penis size. The average size of the oval-shaped adult testicle is 4 x 3 x 2 centimeters (1.6 x 1.2 x 0.8 inches) in length, width, and height, respectively, with the normal size range being 3.6 to 5.5 centimeters for length and 2.1 to 3.5 centimeters for width and height.  Because of varying body temperature, largely owing to the current environmental conditions, it's normal for a man's testicles to shrink and expand slightly in overall circumference and to adjust the length they drop away, sometimes considerably, from the groin area. Some men's balls are more are less responsive than others to changes in body temperature and the present environment. It's the same for dicks, as some men experience more "shrinkage" than other men when they're bodies are cold.  Some men naturally have balls that usually rest close to their bodies, while other men's balls usually and naturally hang lower.  Larger balls tend to hang lower than smaller ones, and balls tend to hanger lower as men get older, particularly when the balls are large.  That's due to the effects of weight, gravity, and having less elastic skin as one ages. If a man so desires, he may successfully train his balls to hang lower by using ball stretching devices. Use of such devices can be a sexual fetish for a few men, particular among the gay "leather" community.  Some men find that even regular, firm, simple downward-tugging with one's hand can eventually achieve a moderate lowering in the hang of the balls.           

Functionally, the testicles secrete testosterone and produce sperm. Aesthetically, a handsome set of balls contributes greatly to masculine allure.  As important as balls are, though, in respect to popular acclaim, they tend to be overshadowed by the mighty and beloved penis. The Clan of Men makes no apology for its obsessive enthusiasm for dick, but that obsession absolutely and very much includes men's balls.  It's no bold statement to observe that the dick and the balls go together to make one fabulous manly package.  Like penises, men with larger testicles are widely favored for having greater sex appeal.  Many hold the position that the bigger the dick and the bigger the balls, then the more man there is to enjoy and admire. Also, within natural parameters, "low-hangers" are widely favored for being more macho, but balls that have been artificially stretched to be weirdly low-slung -- very uncommon, really -- appear unattractively deformed to most people. 

No way I am missing this opportunity to climb on top of my familiar soapbox to loudly voice my objection to shaved balls.  Baby-smooth balls (ball sacks or scrotums, actually) look plain silly on a grown man, peculiarly imitating the balls of a prepubescent male child.  I always take a passionate stance against men removing or significantly reducing their adult onset body hair.  I believe the "manscaped" look that has infected the current grooming practices of many men these days is like an ugly disfiguring disease. Excessive trimming or elimination of body hair takes an otherwise masculine-looking man and turns him into something that looks unnatural and effeminate, which is fine perhaps for a woman, but not for a manly man. I find many men, even those not guilty of excessive hair removal elsewhere on their bodies, for some reason feel compelled to shave their balls. Many do not, thankfully, but I am astonished by the number of men out there who deliberately neotenize themselves with the misguided notion that babyish balls are desirable or advantageous. (Yes -- "neotenize" is a fancy word. In biology, it refers to an adult or mature organism that takes on a physical or behavioral characteristic of a child or immature organism. The term is broadly used in varying contexts, such as an adult human undergoing some process to become childlike in some way. A grown man making his manly balls appear like the balls of a little boy fits the definition of neoteny very well.)  I am sure there are guys who regularly visit the Clan of Men who do indeed shave their balls, and I take no satisfaction in offending anyone.  However, it's my blog, and I reserve the editorial right to say it like I mean it. If you are in the habit of shaving your balls, that's you own right, of course.  Like all matters of aesthetics, the catch phrases of "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" and "to each his own" are pertinent.  In keeping with the Clan of Men's manifesto, though, I beg you to reconsider the bizarre grooming ritual for the sake of manhood and for the true love of men.  Bottom line, having totally hairless balls is a squirrely look on an adult man, and the whole body-shaving thing has such a sissy-girly vibe since women, who of course  are not as hairy as men for starters, commonly depilate most of their adult body hair.    

This is a new and long-overdue themed collection that I will update periodically. For the collection, I have selected photos that may or may not specifically or intentionally put a spotlight on the balls, and in most of the photos, there are plenty of other great things about the man to admire.  All the men included in this collection, though, have at least one thing in common -- a great set of nuts that can't be overlooked and that gave me pause to admire and save to my "Great Balls" folder.  Not to go on ad nauseum, but back briefly to the subject of ball hair, I will point out that men vary considerably in the amounts of hair they grow on their balls, and this collection is not limited only to men with very hairy or hairier-than-average balls. I include plenty of photos of men without highly prominent ball hair.  While I never like the look of shaved balls, other posts I make to the blog may include men who regrettably shave them because I decided to overlook the defect in light if his other charms. For this collection, though, I have avoided featuring men who clearly shave their balls, as including such men in this sexy man line-up that highlights manly cojones would be utter blasphemy. 

Enough discourse! Let the parade of ball splendor begin!